Business Scars

Pain is a potent fuel.
It can warm a room. But it can also burn down a house.

I fell in love with entrepreneurship at 18.
But it was my uncle’s words, saying “You’ll never amount to anything,” that fueled my fire.

It burned white hot.
“I’ll show you” became my mantra.
It’s why I succeeded fast but also why it crumbled like a house of cards.

I was dependent on it. I needed it.

The bigger the goal, the bigger the conflict. It became an all-consuming drug.

It cost me business partners, friendships, and almost my marriage.

It was my wife’s words, “I need you to step up and be a better man,” that ultimately was my wakeup call.

Within the month I had hired a coach, walked away from the business, and cut out all toxic relationships (which was pretty much everyone).

I wish I could say the money followed quickly. It didn’t.

I went on to watch that company exit at $800M.

I watched ex-friends cash-out, with absurd amounts of money.

I’d love to say it didn’t affect me. It did. It hurt.

Of course it made me question my decisions. Judgement, shame, regret—I felt all of it.

But as my mentor would always say, “You often don’t get the lesson and the money.” Well, shit.

Slowly I rebuilt. More like, I tore everything down to the studs.

I examined beliefs I never knew I had. Assumptions I just thought were givens. Questions of self-worth, significance, and validation.

While my crutch was conflict, I’ve seen it come in all shapes and sizes. From achievement, money, and significance to validation, status, and attention.

I share all this because my first step in turning the corner was letting go of the expectation that my life should have been different, that it should have been easier.

As the Swiss psychologist, Carl Jung, says, “There is no coming to consciousness without pain.”

So with that in mind, consider this:
What if everything is happening exactly as it should, and the real issue is that we just don’t like how it’s showing up?"

Something to consider.